Love is different. It is foolish to think that there is only one true way of love that moves everyone. How many people – so many types of feelings, which are imprinted by personal experience, worldview, character and objective situation that develops between lovers. In this article, we will reveal the types of love that the ancient Greeks spoke about when describing the versatility of the human soul. Can you find yourself?
Mania-love as an addiction
At an early stage, it is present in many romantic relationships. The threat begins when the obsession with a partner drags on in earnest. Such love has a destructive effect on all participants, because it is based on the desire to possess and control. As a result, feelings are sucked into the vortex, forced to suffer, suffer, give up on themselves, live in constant tension. One feels pressure and runs away. The other pursues with all the passion, losing himself, tormented by jealousy. This kind of love is destructive, something like the relationship between a tormentor and a masochist.
There are similar mechanisms that work with mania, but without a negative emphasis — love is mutual, lovers want to possess each other, enjoy the joys of intimacy, idealizing the relationship. It is with Eros that families are often born: the attraction is so strong that you want to constantly be near, stroke each other, bask in the rays of love. And partners run down the aisle to perpetuate these feelings. Alas, over the years, Eros is exhausted, stumbling over children, everyday life, life crises and the surfacing imperfection of the partner. However, some manage to carry the passion through many years of relationships.
Agape – selfless love
This type of love is most clearly seen between a mother and a child, when an adult accepts his child with all his heart, putting up with his imperfection, giving him all his tenderness, warmth and care. Unfortunately, in the relationship between a man and a woman, Agape can also have negative consequences — a skew of the energy "give" and "receive". When the lover is so devoted to the half that he is ready to make any sacrifice for her happiness: to forgive everything, to accept everything, to be an eternal donor and support, spitting on himself. This is bad, because it drains the relationship, the giver quickly exhales, constantly bends, loses boundaries. But in love, the two-way exchange of energy and the preservation of the individuality of each partner is important.
Storge-love based on a sense of duty
There is no romance or animal passion in such a relationship. It's just that two people have been together for so long, experienced so much, that they have become part of each other, "grown together by the roots". They together make up a well-established mechanism, where everyone has their own role and a large share of responsibility. They will tear anyone for their family, because they are an extension of each other. And even if their life is not full of emotions, a sense of duty will not allow you to betray a partner, even if these two did not choose each other, even if they do not meet the ideals. The promise to be together for better or worse is more important than any emotion.
And who said that only passion or a sense of duty can unite? Sometimes people are so interested in talking and being silent together, exploring the world, creating – that they don't need more. In such relationships, there is no physical attraction (or there was, but it has subsided over the years). But there is harmony of souls, equality of thoughts, division of interests. I just like to be together-listen to music, watch movies, go Hiking, raise children, engage in everyday life, act as a team. They have the same attitude to life. Therefore, in partnership, they receive support for their ideas, views and projects.
Relationships are multi-faceted, do not lock yourself in one role, otherwise you will quickly get tired. And remember: it is important not only to love your loved ones, but also to yourself.