The usual state for all of us is immersion in drama – a social and everyday plot of a personal story, where emotions and passions boil, problems are solved and not solved, victories are achieved, defeats are suffered, there is a tragedy and a happy ending. We live like in a TV series, where every thought, every movement is like a small entertainment and at the same time an excuse for ourselves in the eyes of all people from our past, present, and future. Something within us encourages this performance to play out, to reproduce itself and its life drama over and over again. Such is the "love of art". We call this dramatic movie about ourselves our real life.
If you pay attention to the material world, it is silent. We are not talking about the world of money and things – these "matters" are only a link in the drama. We are talking about this simple life, where objects hang quietly in space, as if waiting for their time, until they are touched by our attention.
We live in these two realities. The first familiar drama is a chaotic light and noise show of thoughts and feelings. The second is that the reality of awareness and unavoidable facts, without claiming anything, remains concrete and true in all its manifestations. In the first, we are already immersed in the head. The second is found by practicing contemplation.
The drama is filled with mayata, emotions, anticipations, everything in it is ambiguous and fleeting. In awareness, Zen masters carry water when they carry water, they carry firewood when they are carried, in awareness there is clearly only what is right now.
Staying in the drama, we do not leave any of its storylines, but continue to do everything so that we can be proud of the script of our life… Posthumously. In this sense, self-affirmation is the opposite of awareness. Self-affirmation strengthens the drama, awareness peremptorily removes it from the drama, literally awakens it from its dreams.
Why Wake up from the drama at all?
If you want to become cool and advanced, if you have enough clarity, the mind will check whether awareness is being put into practice, whether it goes beyond hopes and expectations. And thus there is a chance to notice your own real unconsciousness – total immersion in the drama.
And still, at this stage, it is almost impossible to go beyond the detection of your drowsiness in sleep. And this is completely normal. The experience of this is another dramatic scene.
The fact is that at the level of being in the drama, real awareness is not very interesting, it does not have the desired gingerbread, it is-like air and space – clean and calm. This is not what our mind wants. He doesn't want freedom, but love and respect.
First we come out of children's fairy-tale dreams, stop believing in Santa Claus and Baba Yaga. We dive into serious fairy tales for adults about a successful, happy life, family and career. Along the way, we are imbued with fairy tales about advanced and highly spiritual, special characters. If we are lucky, we find that spiritual illusions are hardly easier than worldly ones, and we begin to notice, literally from hopelessness, what is really happening here and now.
When the drama is exposed as hopeless, the mind gives up, it accepts that there is nothing it can do. "Everything, I will not become completely enlightened, loved, respected. All this is drama – my thoughts and feelings, my projections, passing in a rainbow sequence against the background of consciousness. What difference does it make if I win something in this dream?"
At this moment, awareness is the most fertile ground, because you want it, not honor and glory. You said goodbye with love and respect, drama is no longer interested.
At this stage, to Wake up from the drama and engage in awareness, you just need the whip of despair. But gradually, when there is more and more taste of this state, it becomes easier to get involved in it.
This is not an observation of thoughts, but an intuitive shift of attention from a state where the drama seemed real to one where it is highlighted as fleeting thinking against the background of consciousness. The drama of life slows down. Consciousness begins to prevail over sleep. It is like a huge transparent, three-dimensional background for a narrow stream of thoughts and feelings.
Awakening occurs when events and experiences are not totally engrossing, and no longer seem to be the only final reality. There is an island of observant sobriety, where it is clear that thoughts and feelings are not some events of the present and future. They are fleeting. In fact, they are all the same daydreams.
The higher the level of awareness, the more subtle the illusions that the mind is led to. There is a time for everything. And if you artificially devalue sleep, no awakening will occur, but self-exclusion and depression, which were discussed above, on such soil can bloom and bear fruit for many years. Therefore, as they say, " do not saw the rake on which you stand."