Let's be honest: we all love to gossip. And men do it with no less enthusiasm than representatives of the fair sex. Agree, it is difficult to resist and not tell your friends that a friend is going to get married, a colleague was promoted, and a classmate was seen in a defamatory relationship. When we gossip, we compare ourselves to others, get an incentive to succeed, or become aware of our own troubles.
Gossip also corrects our social behavior. "How tired we were of the previous residents: they always had music blaring, and they threw garbage all over the site," neighbors tell you. Information provided in the form of gossip indicates how to behave in order not to spoil relations with them. In the same way, when you talk about someone, you can Express your preferences.
In a certain sense everything happens just like Nietzsche: "Gossip tells of boundaries that should not be crossed and rules that should be played by."
Through gossip, we know who the boss favors, who to seek help from, who to avoid, when to give up and when to go all the way. Gossip clearly demonstrates the hierarchy that exists in the group. It is also no secret that timely and skillfully submitted information can become a real bomb and radically change the attitude to the object of gossip. So keep in mind that" successfully " gossiping, bringing the necessary and important information to the group, or skillfully bringing to the leaders information about their competitors, you can rise in the hierarchy by several steps.
However, we should not forget the popular wisdom "Do not take out the trash from the hut". A smart person will never discuss the negative traits of their loved ones with outsiders and thereby humiliate family and friends in the eyes of others.
Traditionally, women are considered gossips. But is it? Why is the phrase "She bought a new fur coat", which was heard among women, considered gossip, and "He broke his car", said by men, is considered simply as information? Apparently, it's all about tradition: men are just "interested in the lives of others", and women always "gossip".
It is interesting that people who are new to a particular social group (a new job, a new house they have just moved into, a new company...) are much more likely to get involved in the gossip process than "old-timers". Discussing the details of someone else's life is a kind of way to adapt in an unfamiliar environment, because gossiping, we become "our own" and at the same time get a lot of valuable information.
Decent and developed people do not gossip themselves and do not listen to gossip. If you don't like something, go help, participate, try to change the situation. If you don't know how to change the situation there, mind your own business. Make the world a better place, not poke your finger at others. General rule: "About the absent, as about the dead - or good, or no" with possible clarification "to Mention the negative can only be in the presence of a constructive: if you are using a conversation about someone's mistakes or shortcomings plan to correct or improve something."
A decent man and gossip are two incompatible things. What else can I say?
Yes, but what if they gossip about you? This situation is not easy. To respond to gossip directly and tell everyone that everything is not true and not so-rather stupid, funny and ineffective, gossip does not subside from this. And if you make sure that you are a person of status and with strong friends, then everything is simple: already your friends around you sharply say to gossips "not interesting!", and to gossips "Stop!", and the question is closed.